So yeah, I was licking a postage stamp earlier today. It’s a natural process that occurs when sending out a message though snail mail. And sometimes, if you’re unlucky a very quizzical and thought provoking process at that.
While I was licking the stamp I got to thinking about how gross the adheshive tasted. Following which I started thinking about why some stamps are sweet and others are viley bitter. What exactly do they put into stamp adheshive to give it such flavour?
So I put the stamp onto the envelope and set it aside for mailing. Unfortuneately the thought process over adheshive ingredients hadn’t left my mind. Normally I’d push the thought away and search for a new topic but for some reason this one just seemed too interesting to pass up. So I let the wheels turn.. and turn and turn some more.
A million possibilities floated into my head but the one I found most amusing, and disturbing was my theory that the government had a set of elves mixing up each and every fresh batch of stamp adheshive. Now these elves are very special elves. One is a female named glue the other is a male who goes by the name of me.
Each day they wake up, put on their little glue suits and shuffle on down to their mixing stations. They work at the same factory but on separate ends (their supervisors don’t want them reproducing, they are special elves remember?), never seeing the other but each knowing the other exists.
The elves do their work but unlike most elves who are cheerful and vibrant these elves are forever downcast. Each one lazily dreaming of the one they know exists but can never see. It’s during these lazy, daydreaming times that the magical ingredient is placed into the adheshive.
For while their minds are preoccupied, their grimy, glue-covered hands are anything but.
It’s said that the male’s glue is bitter due to his sexual frustration while the female’s is sweet due to her everlasting hope that she will one day meet her missing link.
It’s a far fetched and downright outrageous theory but who’s there to prove it isn’t true? Furthermore it hasn’t been proven that elves don’t exist either so all in all it’s possible. Not likely, but possible. So before you go to mail another letter think about what it is you’re licking.
And if the elves don’t make you cringe, you can always stop to dwell on the fact that bug eggs or a highly contageous disease has been stuck to the stamp. As for myself, I feel much safer with horny elves than I do with eggs and disease. At least elves are partially human and won’t make me deathly ill. It really is your choice though.
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Oh, eww.
Normally when I mail out items, I don’t lick the stamp. I use water instead. :P Because a friend told me before that many germs are actually contained on the back of the stamp and it can be transported to humans through the licking of the stamp.
Since then, I tabbed my stamps in a little bit of water before pasting them to an envelope. I thought it was more sanitary this way. :P Heh.
i stopped licking my stamps after the first few times. i drop a little bit of water on the stamp and stick it onto the envelope. licking stamps gives a very weird aftertaste on the tongue, don’t you think?
Up here we have these little wonders called “self adhesive stamps”. I swear, they’re a miracle!
I never lick stamps. It seems so stupid to do that. And It’s way disgusting.
HAHA. You have a very creative mind. IT would be a bit nicer to think of horny elves making the glue on stamps. But i dont lick stamps anymore because of a story i heard about bug eggs and a woman’s lip. Very disturbing.
But other than that maybe your story is true, lets just hope those special glue elves meet haha.
Haha, very interesting. I usually glue evelope shut, so I don’t know what they taste like :-P.
Haha! This brightened my evening no end :p
Thanks for commenting at my blog - the photo would be cute in a layout, but I try to keep my doll-focused stuff at the main site. My blog is just an extra, lol
hehehe….yeah who knows :P maybe there are elves making that yucky stuff XD maybe it’s yucky so people wont enjoy the stamps tooo much and eat them
Some glue tastes nice, they should make candy out of it! Nah, just kidding. Some candy can be used as glue, because it’s sticky. Heh.
You have a very interesting theory there. I wonder why no one has bothered to make flavored adhesive for stamps and envelopes. You might be able to make lots of money doing that maybe.
Okay before I was just scared about tiny eggs being stuck to the stamp, now I have to worry about ELVES?! Luckily though I usually buy those sticker stamps rather than the ones you have to lick
I stopped licking stamps & envelopes … I make my mom do that because it’s nasty and once I got a papercut on my tongue, lmao.
-hugs & gives a cookie- Now will you? Lol.
I wish stamps tasted like ice cream. I’m sure with our present technology, that it’s not actually too much to ask for.
Oh urgh. I don’t lick my stamps. Heard to many gross stories about stamp-licking (including one about beetles growing in the tongue due to a cut, barfs). I wet my pinky then run it over the stamp. Haha. Very very effective.
That is an interesting thought. I’ve never about what is in the stamp adhesive. I don’t mail that much stuff so I don’t really lick that many stamps. But next time I do, I’ll probably start thinking about this. Best of luck talk to you later bye
I used to lick stamps because I thought it was cool, and I saw my dad licking HIS stamps and envelope covers before he sealed them. However, after I heard a story about a woman with a cut on her tongue who licked a stamp which contained insect eggs, and a few weeks later her tongue swelled up and when she went in for surgery and they cut open her tongue to see what’s wrong, and found out that the eggs had hatched small insects inside her warm, moist, tongue, I became afraid and never licked a stamp again. Besides, the stamps they produce nowadays are like sticker adhesives, which you can just stick on instead of licking.
Anyway that was a very funny theory. Very cool.
That was an interesting theory. Elves! Now why didn’t I think of that before? It has to be elves. You’ve had me totally convinced. ;p Thank god I don’t usually lick the stamps. I use water.
I don’t lick stamps or envelopes for that reason. I also use self-stick stamps because they’re cool.
I think I remember hearing something a long time ago that prisons wouldn’t allow those stamps because drugs could be hidden on the adhesive. Something like that.
Anyway, they’re gross.
yeah that was an entertaining entry, and who knows elves like those you mentioned might exist. for me i NEVER lick stamps, i either use water or just plain normal glue(whether they’re made by elves or not is another story i guess?) for the simple reason of what kind of adhesive it might be and whether its toxic to the errr… taste buds. i dunno i think i’m just paranoid thats all. lmao.
Just to piss you off…
You aint nothin but a hound dog
Cryin all the time.
You aint nothin but a hound dog
Cryin all the time.
Well, you aint never caught a rabbit
And you aint no friend of mine.
When they said you was high classed,
Well, that was just a lie.
When they said you was high classed,
Well, that was just a lie.
You aint never caught a rabbit
And you aint no friend of mine.