1. If you’re choking on an ice cube, pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. The blockage will instantly remove itself.
2. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.
3. Avoid arguments about the toilet seat – use the sink.
4. For high blood pressure cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer.
5. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you’ll be afraid to cough.
7. You only need two tools in life – wd-40 and duct tape. If it doesn’t move and should, use the wd-40. If it shouldn’t move and does, use the duct tape.
8. Remember, everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
9. If you can’t fix it with a hammer, you’ve got an electrical problem.
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Hilarious!!!! :rotfl:
Comment by Lisa on January 9th, 2009 @ 7:14 am
#3 reminds me of big love, a t.v. show about mormons.
#7 is so true it’s not even funny!
Comment by tristian curio.awardspace.com on January 9th, 2009 @ 10:15 am
:rotfl: Wow. And I’m such an idiot–I’d be the one to try the boiling water thing.
Comment by Nat Marie crestfallen.nu on January 9th, 2009 @ 1:05 pm