Comotized.Com

Wow… I haven’t blogged in so long I don’t even know where to begin. So many things have happened and so much has changed that I’m not sure if I can fit it all into a single post. So I reckon I’ll just have to pick the most important events/happenings and call it a day.

1) My social anxiety is next to zilch thanks to a change of medication. Pristiq + Propranolol (beta blocker) = no social anxiety, which totally kicks ass because I’m having a great time living my life for the first time in 26 years.

2) Nanny had a stroke a little over a month ago. She’s still wheelchair bound but she’s determined and a fighter so I have all faith that she’ll recover with time.

So far her recovery has been speedy. She can pick up her left leg, move her left arm a little bit (she still has a long way to go with that) and her speech is near perfect when she has her teeth in.

As for what I’ve been doing… random shit. Mostly visiting Nanny, hanging out with friends, sun-bathing and swimming along with lots of job application filling out.

I’m so tired of seeing those forms but I want a job badly and need one at that but my social anxiety has made it harder to get hired as I’ve never had a job because of it… but that won’t stop me from trying!

Basically I’m just living my life, having fun and taking care of my Nanny who is THE most important person in my life. She pretty much raised me and she’s the ONLY one in my family that treats me like a human being instead of a verbal punching bag. I hate seeing her so distraught and… trapped. I wish that I could take her place but I can’t and that’s what kills me the most…

No matter how much I help and visit I can’t take away her sadness or fix her situation but I have to remind myself that she’s a fighter and she WILL pull through this.

So as you can see I’m still alive. Very much so. I’ll try to get my postings back on track but I make no guarantees as I never know when I’ll be on the computer long enough to actually type a post out. But I figured I’d at least let you know that I’m alive and well.

I miss you guys and I highly appreciate all of you who still support me. In times like this I can use all the support I can get, so thank you for sticking with me, even if I am a sucky blogger *hugs*

After hitting another dent in his love life my oldest brother slammed the question: “why are all women whores?” in my direction.

Personally I don’t believe that all women are whores but it is a fact that nine out of ten women in my area are.

Still that kind of question doesn’t have an easy answer, I have boobs but I can’t speak for the entire population so rather than try to give a serious answer I simply replied with:

“Because our orgasms are better.”

I meant it to be amusing but after I thought about it it does make a little bit of sense. We can get multiples on a good day and ours last longer so there was more truth to what I said than I realized and I do have to stop and wonder, is that part of the reason some women cheat?

I’ll never know for a fact why any person would choose to cheat but it does make you wonder.

For the past few months I’ve been having major vision problems due to allergies. Not pollen or animal allergies but.. smelly stuff allergies.

I share an apartment with my mother who just doesn’t seem to understand the concept that I’m allergic to overly smelly things. Glade plugins and anything vanilla are my two worst allergy causers. Though real vanilla doesn’t bother me, I can even eat and digest it normally. I just can’t smell the man-made smelly kind.

So off and on my eyes have been swelled shut, watering, burning, itching, my nose dripping like a faucet or stopped up to the point where I look like I’m in constant awe of something in order to collect oxygen in my lungs.

I knew this morning when I woke up that she’d put something new in the apartment as I couldn’t see anything and focusing was out of the question. Hell, my vision is still impaired at the moment and it’ll be a few hours before it comes back to me in full swing but at least I’m not hurting anymore.

I searched the apartment top to bottom to find the smelly implant she’d left to no avail, thank god she stumbled (not literally) home a little bit ago and I interrogated her forcing her to reveal the plugin hiding spot behind a wing-backed chair in her bedroom.

The label you ask? French vanilla.. my two worst allergy causers rolled into one evil plugin.

I really hope she’ll figure out she cant keep burning those things around me. It’s so bad that the contraptions can’t be anywhere in the apartment, not even in the living room. They straight up fuck me up, for lack of better words and terminology.

Glade – kiss my ass, you make evil things for mentally unstable people to torture me with *growls*

And yes, my mother is mentally unstable, quite literally but that’s a story, or should I say novel series, for another day.

For now I’m just happy to be able to see, let’s see how long it lasts before she drags something new home this time.