Comotized.Com

I installed scribefire but as you can see that idea for motivation didn’t pan out as planned.

I figured if I had an editor at my fingertips during all my internet browsing rendezvous I’d get lucky and something would perk my interest enough to blog.

Yay for another failed attempt.

Right now the only thing on my mind is sleep, which I’m obviously not getting (note the sluggish typing of whiny post) and Ethiopian chicken, which just so happens to be the best diet food in town.

I’m tellin ya, if I get any more brain activity going on up in my cranium region I’m going to go into an epileptic fit, and I CAN do that. I do have epilepsy, so all of you out there snickering about ‘oh no she didn’t', oh hell yes I did. Eat me if ya don’t like it.

*sighs* I’m such a sweetheart.

Now on an ending note to this pathetic excuse of a post I shall attempt to explain what an Ethiopian chicken is and why you should start eating them if you’re trying to lose weight.

First and foremost I need you to picture one of those little starving Ethiopian babies you see on donation commercials late at night when you’re slumped on the couch in a fluffy pink moo-moo stuffing your face full of Ben & Jerry’s..

Can you see the little Ethiopian child floating through your mind yet?

Good.. now try to picture what their chickens look like.

If you’re anything like me you’ll see a shriveled up excuse of a chicken with an over-sized head, ribs poking out all willy nilly, malnourished belly poking out from air & other gaseous substances…. He may or may not be tied to a goat suffering the same fate.. but regardless of what he is, or is not, tied to there should be a caption under his shriveled feet with the statement of: “Spend more time chewing!”

After all, everyone knows shriveled chicken is one tough bitch to chew right?

And that my dears, is why the Ethiopian chicken is the best diet food around. Little to no meat but you’ll chew for hours, thus getting the effect that you’ve consumed a meal far bigger than you actually have while managing to dump just enough content into your tummy to shut it up.

With knowledge this golden you can share the wealth and take your old ice cream money to feed those damned kids. They gave you your hips back, thank them properly would ya?!

Mom went to JC Penny’s earlier to buy some cloths for my niece and we found the above tag while rifling through the pile to pick out an outfit for her to wear to school tomorrow.

If this doesn’t say something about the situation our country is in, I don’t know what does but you must admit the typo is quite amusing.

Note: the cigarette is there to prop up the card, it kept sliding across my desk

Daniel and I were listening to some old songs I stuck into my ipod earlier when he started caterwauling along to one I was trying to enjoy.

I let him get through a few sentences before I looked at him and screamed:

“If you’re gonna sing quit acting so fucking stupid, you’re fucking up my song!”

I didn’t know the poor lil guy was actually trying his best to sing along with the song. I honestly thought he was being a goofball (as per usual) until he got a shocked look on his face and responded with:

“I wasn’t acting stupid! I was really trying to sing it!”

The only thing I could think to respond with was:

“Oh… Oops… My bad!”

Thankfully Daniel is a true goofball so we both busted out laughing and started laughing even harder when the words:

“I was really sorry for about 2.5 seconds. If it wasn’t so funny I’d probably feel bad.”

Daniel‘s normal response in situations like this:

“I know right?!”

*insert more laughter with him trying his damndest not to sing again*

1. If you’re choking on an ice cube, pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. The blockage will instantly remove itself.

2. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.

3. Avoid arguments about the toilet seat – use the sink.

4. For high blood pressure cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you’ll be afraid to cough.

7. You only need two tools in life – wd-40 and duct tape. If it doesn’t move and should, use the wd-40. If it shouldn’t move and does, use the duct tape.

8. Remember, everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

9. If you can’t fix it with a hammer, you’ve got an electrical problem.