My mother was supposed to come and pick me up today to help her pick green beans out of our garden.

I wasn’t holding my breath as it’s a very rare thing for her to show up on days and times when she’s supposed to.

Low and behold, 4:30pm rolled around and I was officially tired of her lies. Normally I just change back into my comfy cloths and call it a day but this time I decided to have a little bit of fun.

First I had to call around to get her whereabouts, then I had to dig through the phone book to find the right number.. then the fun began…

I picked up the cordless phone, lit a cigarette, dialed the number and calmly told the receptionist at Walnut Hills Campground:

Me: “Yes, my mother is swimming at your pool today and there’s been a family emergency, is there any way you could go outside and grab her for me?”

Receptionist: “Um.. hold on just one second please.”

Receptionist again: (returned in a worried voice with the sound of ruffling paper in the background) “What exactly do you want the message to say?”

Me: “Just tell her there’s been a family emergency *fake sniffle and voice crack* and tell her to please call me as soon as possible.”

Receptionist: “and your name ma’am?”

Me: “Melissa Harris, my mother’s name is Debra…”

Receptionist: “Okay ma’am, I’ll go and give her the message right now, I hope everything is okay!”

So I hung up the phone, took a drag of my cigarette and started giggling to myself. On the one hand I felt bad for making the receptionist think she had a vital message to deliver but on the other… I knew mom would be flying to the telephone in a huff thinking me or Nanny had fell over in the floor.

Five minutes later I received a phone call with my mother screaming in my ear:

“Is everything okay? What’s wrong? what’s going on? Is mom okay??”

Me: “yup, everything is fine, I just wanted to say thank you for picking me up today. Waiting and worrying is a bitch ain’t it?”

Mom: *long sigh* “Damn you Melissa!… okay, I’ll call you later I’ve got the kids in the pool. Love ya, Bye!”

I’m such a brat, but it was worth it. Hell, even Nanny was laughing. Serves her right. 24 years worth of lies weighs a lot more than a single prank phone call don’t ya think?

I’ve been meaning to write a new post, but everytime I reach the editor my mind blanks out on me.

Kind of like now.. so I doubt you’ll get many updates in this post.

On the other hand, Cody broke his foot last night. He was walking past Bear (the dog) when she let out a loud squeel as if he’d stepped on her.

He jumped up and ended up smashing his foot up and under the lazyboy recliner. Officially shoving two of his toes about half an inch in the wrong direction and breaking the side of his foot along with it.

He had to go to the hospital today and have his toes re-broken and re-set.

Fun fun!

On the funny side, mom brought jaylin over for a little bit today. I set her on my bed and made my christmas penguin ‘grumble’ (sounds like it’s farting) and man did she laugh.

I’ve never seen a baby laugh that hard in my life. She was laughing so hard she had tears in her eyes and her face turned bright red.

She finally rolled over and stuck her face in my pillows as if she was saying ‘oh my god stop, i can’t take it anymore!’

I wish I would have had batteries in my camera, I would have taped it. It was so cute and completely hilarious.

It sure beats the laughing baby on youtube by a mile!